DEA Administrator Chuck Rosenberg has made it abundantly clear that he believes medical marijuana is “a joke.”

“If it turns out that there is something in smoked marijuana that helps people, that’s awesome,” Rosenberg said in Ohio last month. “I will be the last person to stand in the way of that. … But let’s run it through the Food and Drug Administration process, and let’s stick to the science on it.”

The DEA continues to cling to a policy of willful ignorance, even as other federal agencies begin to open up to the mounting scientific evidence showing the medical potential and proven effectiveness of cannabis. And apparently that ignorance extends to the DEA’s understanding of the cannabis lexicon.

A few days ago the National Drug Early Warning System, a project funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), released the DEA’s latest field bulletin on “Drug Slang Code Words.” On the list were more than 250 terms. Some are old favorites (weed, pot, ganja). Some are simply strain names (Gorilla Glue, Chernobyl, Girl Scout Cookies). And some are…a little odd. Smoochy Woochy Poochy? Really?

Here’s the latest DEA list, with a few of our own visual interpretations. Just for fun, we’ve added five terms that are complete made-up nonsense. See if you can spot them. (We’ll reveal at the end of the article.)

420; Acapulco Gold; Acapulco Red; Ace; African Black; African Bush; Airplane; Alfombra; Alice B. Toklas; All-Star; Angola; Animal Cookies (hydroponic); Arizona; Ashes; Aunt Mary; Auntie’s Houseplant; Baby; Bale; Bambalachacha; Barbara Jean; Bareta; Bash; BC Budd; Bernie; Bhang

“Jolly Green”

Biggy; Black Bart; Black Gold; Black Maria; Blondie; Blue Cheese; Blue Crush; Blue Jeans; Blue Sage; Blueberry; Bobo Bush; Boo; Boom; Broccoli; Bud; Budda; Burritos Verdes; Bush; Cabbage; Cali; Canadian Black; Catnip; Cheeba; Chernobyl; Cheese; Chicago Black; Chicago Green; Chippie; Chistosa; Christmas Tree; Chronic; Churo; Cigars; Citrol; Cola; Colorado Cocktail; Cookie (hydroponic); Cotorritos; Crazy Weed; Creeper Bud; Crippy; Crying Weed

“Big Pillows”

You can actually order this online. Want.

Culican; Dank; Dew; Diesel; Dimba; Dinkie Dow; Dirt Grass; Ditch Weed; Dizz; Djamba; Dody; Dojo

“Blondie”

via GIPHY

Domestic; Donna Juana; Doobie; Downtown Brown; Drag Weed; Dro (hydroponic); Droski (hydroponic); Dry High; Endo; Fermin; Fine Stu; Fire

“Righteous Bush”

This is the most righteous Bush we could find. Respect, Mrs. B.

Flower; Flower Tops; Flu y; Fuzzy Lady; Gallito; Garden; Gauge; Gangster; Ganja; Gash; Gato; Ghana; Gigi (hydroponic) Giggle Smoke; Giggle Weed; Girl Scout Cookies (hydroponic); Gloria; Gold; Gold Leaf; Gold Star; Gong; Good Giggles; Gorilla; Gorilla Glue; Grand Daddy Purp; Grass; Grasshopper; Green; Green-Eyed Girl; Green Eyes; Green Goblin; Green Goddess

“Juan Valdez”

via GIPHY

Green Mercedes Benz; Green Paint; Green Skunk; Grenuda; Greta; Guardada; Gummy Bears; Gunga; Hairy Ones; Hash; Hawaiian; Hay; Hemp; Herb; Hierba; Homegrown; Hooch; Humo; Hydro; Indian Boy; Indian Hay; Jamaican Gold; Jamaican Red; Jane; Jive; Jon-Jem; Joy Smoke

“Holy Grail”

via GIPHY

Juanita; Jungle Juice; Ka ; Kali; Kaya; KB; Kentucky Blue; KGB; Khalifa; Ki; Killa; Kilter; King Louie; Kitty Cuddle; Kona Gold; Kumba; Kush; Laughing Grass; Laughing Weed; Leaf; Lechuga; Lemon-Lime; Liamba; Lime Pillows; Little Green Friends; Little Smoke; Loaf; Lobo; Loco Weed; Love Nuggets; Love Weed; M.J.; Machinery; Macoña; Mafafa

“Magic Smoke”

via GIPHY

Manhattan Silver; Maracachafa; Maria; Marimba; Mariquita; Mary Ann; Mary Jane; Mary Jones; Mary Warner; Mary Weaver; Matchbox; Matraca; Maui Wowie; Meg; Method; Mexican Brown; Mexican Green; Mexican Red; Mochie (hydroponic); Moña; Monte; Moocah; Mootie; Mora; Morisqueta; Mostaza; Mota; Mother

“Mowing the Lawn”

via GIPHY

Muggie; Narizona; Northern Lights; O-Boy; O.J.; Owl; Paja; Panama Cut; Panama Gold; Panama Red; Pakalolo; Palm; Paloma; Parsley; Pelosa; Pillow; Pine; Platinum Cookies (hydroponic); Platinum Jack; Pocket Rocket; Popcorn; Pot

“Phoenix”

We have never, ever, heard it referred to as “Phoenix.”

Pretendo; Pu; Purple Haze; Queen Ann’s Lace; Ragweed; Railroad Weed; Rainy Day Woman; Rasta Weed; Red Cross; Red Dirt; Reefer; Reggie; Repollo; Righteous Bush; Root; Rope; Rosa Maria

“Salt & Pepper”

via GIPHY

Santa Marta; Sasafras; Sativa; Sinsemilla; Shmagma; Shora; Shrimp; Shwag; Skunk; Skywalker (hydroponic); Smoke; Smoke Canada; Spliff; Stems; Stink Weed; Sugar Weed; Sweet Lucy

“Smoochy Woochy Poochy”

via GIPHY

Tahoe (hydroponic); Tex-Mex; Texas Tea; Tila; Tims; Tosca; Trees; Tweeds; Wacky Tobacky; Wake and Bake; Weed; Weed Tea; Wet; Wheat; White-Haired Lady; Wooz; Yellow Submarine; Yen Pop; Yerba; Yesca; Yosemite Sam; Young Girls; Zacate; Zacatecas; Zambi; Zoom.

The Five Fake Ones

These are the ones we made up: Auntie’s Houseplant; Fermin; Groceries; Kitty Cuddle; and Yosemite Sam. Fermin is a Leafly developer who works across the hall. He would be pleased that you believed his name had become a part of cannabis culture.